The Twilight of Lake Woebegotten by Harrison Geillor

Author:Harrison Geillor
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781597802840
Publisher: Night Shade Books
Published: 2011-10-03T04:00:00+00:00

FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

FROM THE JOURNAL OF BONNIE GRAYDUCK

“Darling,” he said that night, as we snuggled in bed. I’d convinced him that I always slept in a thong and a tight little tank top—boys are so credulous, even century-old vampire boys—and he was certainly affected by my attire, but I hadn’t been able to get more than a kiss out of him in any of the nights we’d spent. He didn’t have noticeable fangs—they popped out when he was hunting or feeding, he told me, like a cat’s claws—and his tongue was very talented, and rather cold, too, which made me wonder how that tongue would feel if he went down on me. Of course, he’d probably be terrible at cunnilingus, with the virgin-ness, but he’d also probably be patient, and I suspected he’d be a fast learner. He said it was getting easier, spending time with me, which I took to mean he fantasized less about tearing my throat out and more about tearing my panties off, but he wouldn’t even go to second base.

“Yes, love?” I said back. We didn’t really have pet names for each other—vampires are too cool for that, I think, and I know I am—but the occasional “dearest” or “darling” or “love” slipped out. Not “lover” though. He hadn’t earned that yet.

“I can’t stay with you tomorrow night.”

I pushed myself up on my elbow and looked at his face, limned and made beautiful by moonlight through the window. “Why?”

He cleared his throat. “Ah… practicalities. I haven’t eaten in a week. I need to hunt.”

“Oooohhhh. I see.” I lay back down with him. “What’s on the menu?”

“Whatever we can find,” he said, with a laugh. “Bears, maybe. They’re all fat on berries and about to hibernate this time of year.”

“You tangle with bears?”

“It’s not much of a tangle, Bonnie. Don’t worry. We move fast enough, they’re dead before they realize what’s happening. Well, usually. Hermet likes to play with his food. He takes his time. Not that I’m a particular fan of bears, really—they’re fine, but not my favorite.”

“Right, you like deer.” I made a face of mock horror. “You eat Bambi.”

“I’m just another hunter,” he said, holding up his hands. “It’s good for them. Keeps their population down, so they don’t starve. Everyone’s happy. And being killed by me is probably less traumatic than being shot with a rifle or a bow and arrow. My kills are clean.”

“Hmm. You know, you could make the argument that humans could use a predator or two to keep our population down. I was reading an article online that said the world will be unrecognizable by 2050. Ten billion people on Earth. Meat will be a luxury. Everybody will be eating bugs because they’re easy to breed and high in protein.”

“People aren’t animals, Bonnie, to be culled by hunters.”

I disagreed with that—obviously we’re animals, what the hell else would we be, plants?—but I held my tongue.

“Besides, there aren’t many vampires. Maybe a few hundred of us worldwide. Even if we were all preying on humans, it wouldn’t make much difference to the human population.

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